Until next time...

The Gecko Went to Med School at Caesar's Palace

LAS VEGAS, TAKE 2...

At the last minute, I decided to join a couple of friends in Vegas for another fun weekend. I sit here, laughing, as I relive the trip. I  would have never thought that I could have as much fun, nevermind MORE, than the last trip. The good news is that I haven't spiraled into the same after-Vegas funk!

I knew it would be a good trip from the moment I arrived at SFO. After arriving at the hotel, and bustin' out a few token Zumba moves (workout for the weekend - DONE!) I posted my first prediction on Facebook: "The club can't even handle me right now..."  The girls and I took the limo - yeah, that's how we roll - to a fun tapas bar for some eats and drinks. Next, we attended an after party for an event that the other girls worked. It was full of athletes and Hip Hop - if you get my drift. Wow - like shooting fish in a barrell - just sayin' - if I were interested. Not my type, I guess.

The next bar was my kinda place! Apparently I was releasing some sort of phermone that made the Latin boys (YEAH!) horny. Who gets kissed randomly by some hot Italian while walking through the club, minding her own biz? When we up get to the bar, I look over and as if a bright, white light is cast upon him from the sky, I see the most beautiful Brazilian. He sees me look at him, crosses through the crowd between us, takes my hand and lays on me the most amazing, ridiculously hot kiss. I kissed him back and told him I was in love! He said "I am from Brazil". I replied "I know!" After an eternity of the most offensive PDA you have ever witnessed, we lost each other.  Reunited again, by his brother an hour later (amidst the most raucous cheering from the other 8 Brazilians he was with) we agree to never let go again! And we didn't...until 8 am!! Imagine the fun to be had with a Brazilian dentist (oh yes, I said dentist) who doesn't speak English! H-E-A-V-E-N!! Goodbye, Roberto  Ronaldo  RODRIGO! I will miss the taste of your Skittle mouth...

Check out my cheesy "Oh my God I just found a Brazilian" smile.

The next night, after a full day of sun and fun at the pool, not to mention many cocktails, we embarked on yet another fun club experience. Do I have to go into great detail about yet another Italian who grabbed me from dance floor for a kiss (I'm going to thank Clinique for the obviously HOT new lip color I wore this weekend)? Or even about the random  Scavenger Hunt guy who actually ran into us the next night, at a whole different night club, and returned my panties (refer to above term in BOLD) from the night before because they were in his pocket for good luck? Hmmm, it all seems so pointless after a night in Sao Paulo (read: Caesars Palace, room 2315)

The next morning, after a 1 hour "nap", we headed for the airport. This time, I'm not so sad. I had the time of my life, but I was ready to go home. I think it is time for Vegas and I to break up. Then again, who knows, maybe Sin City will be one of those "on again, off again" relationships.

And, if I get a "friend request" back from Brazil, and he learns how to speak English, and moves to California to set up a pediatric dental clinic, I may invite you to our wedding (I promise, I will not subject you to the PDA my poor girlfriends had to witness this weekend!).

And the gecko...well, let's just say that the tatoo and Rodrigo are well aquainted!  Did I tell you how much I love Brazil??

Shift to positive..

I've spent the last couple of weeks moping around after my fun in Vegas. I quit working out, I spent two full weekends laying in bed watching re-runs, I even quit putting effort into my body - refusing to even wash my face before bed (a habit that I just took up after 38 years, believe it or not). You could say that I was throwing a massive tantrum! While I knew this was all true, it took a few really dramatic acts this week for me to "hit bottom". For each man, potential BF or just booty call, in my life I managed to go up in flames, one by one. I became so destructive to each and every (real or imagined) relationship. Take, for instance the random guy I wrote about earlier in the week. I was so out of control, I grenaded any potential relationship that might have been. Ditto for the dentist and a young, hot local dude I wooed into my bed, against his better judgement. Nevermind the other two locals that I just ignored when they showed any sort of interest. The only "relationship" I didn't manage to ruin was with the (not sure I introduced him to you yet) Italian, and that's because the difference in time zone does not allow me "real-time" communication in which to act out any sort of absurdity.

But...the biggest wake up call came when I was listening to music with my daughter and a Black Eyed Peas song came on. I mentioned to her that it was one of the songs we danced to in Vegas and she replied, "You REALLY like to talk about Las Vegas, don't you?" OUCH!! That one hurt - even my five year old recognized that I needed to come back to earth. I was crushed...

Then, I woke up this morning. I feel like I am ready to re-enter my life. I'm rested, well fed and my coffee tasted amazing. I have a brighter outlook today, I'm ready to get back on the horse. I recognized it right away when I had a thought about some sort of imaginary future I might have and it began with "Someday I want.." instead of "One thing I don't want is..". I have spent, not only the last few weeks, but the last several months making a list in my mind of all the things I do not want in my life. While this may prove useful someday, I feel that if I change these thoughts to be more positive, and about what I really want, it may be easier to achieve. Make sense?? Well, it does to me!

So, today I hopped back on the bike - literally. I had a massive workout and it felt so good to sweat. I had a great dinner with a glass of wine. I'm ready for a hot bath, and yes - I will wash my face, and a hot cup of tea before snuggling into my bed with a great book. It feels good to feel good again. Cue heavenly music...

Ciao, my friends!

It's a train wreck...

Have you ever the expression,"It's like watching a train wreck and I just can't turn away"? Well, you'll love this one.

A few months ago, I noticed a man. He walked into a cafe I was at and he caught my eye. That was the end of that - until a few weeks ago. I was walking through a market parking lot and he stepped out of his truck (yes, I said truck) and he caught my eye - again. Cut scene! Then, at a St. Patty's Day celebration, in the midst of what seemed like 1000 people, you guessed it - he caught my eye - AGAIN! This time, I decided I should introduce myself. I mean really, there must be a reason I keep seeing this random guy right? So, after I convince some stranger to get random guy's name, I have, in my hot little hand, his business card. What?? (remember from Vegas - I've got game). So, I proceed to approach and gracefully introduce myself. Then...I open my mouth and God only knows what happened but I became completely idiotic. I couldn't control the spew that was coming out. All I remember is him looking at me like I was some sort of WHACK JOB who was stalking him. Ahhh! Did I really just make that big of an ass of myself? Exit Stage Left...

So, fast forward to this morning. I arrive to a cafe for coffee, only to see this man sitting alone with his breakfast. Most SANE women would probably go elsewhere for the caffeine, right? OH NOOO! Not I! I decided it was a good idea to try to explain myself from the other night. Maybe, convince him I'm not the freak I seemed to be.  Well, ask me how that went.. Can you say "Dork", or maybe "Dimwit"? How about "Twit"? Let's try it in Spanish - "Estúpido"! Let's just leave it at the fact that I didn't make things much better, and if he sees me again, he may just run the other direction like his hair is on fire!

So, in honor of my train wreck, I would like to list for you, as illustrated in the April issue of Real Simple Magazine, 5 Ways To Make a Great Impression:

1. STOP TALKING - Well, all I can say is that I blew this one. Not only did I talk incessantly, I managed to form NO more than two complete sentences in the two "conversations".

2. SHOW YOUR FLAWS - Check and check!!

3. USE A PERSON'S NAME - Does it count if I used other people's names - as in "You know so-and-so" and "You work for such-and-such". This may be where he got the impression I was a stalker..

4. DON'T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT - I don't even know what this means, but if it was a rule for making a good impression, I'm pretty sure I broke it.

5.  LOOK INTERESTED - Ok! You tell me if sweaty pits, shaky hands and stuttering counts as "looking interested"!

I'm so proud...

Oh, by the way, when all was said and done, I emailed him and asked him out. Business card came in handy. I'll keep you posted...

In the wake of Vegas..

Well, at the risk of beating the whole Vegas experience to the ground, I'm going for one last purge. I can tell you that this has been a VERY-LONG-WEEK! I have been riding in the wake of the trip, falling in and out of center.

I think this little mini depression began when we disembarked the pink glow of Virgin America, only to see dark and rainy skies. For the record, it's still raining!! Then, driving home we entered Sonoma to see fields of grazing sheep. What a difference from the bling of Vegas with it's tall, brightly lit hotels and daytime sunshine.

Then, reality really kicked in. I remembered the feeling I had in Vegas of limitless opportunity. The chance to meet anyone I wanted to meet, being anyone I wanted to be. The doors are wide open and all I had to do is walk through them! In Sonoma, that feeling died a hard death and I was reminded of the small town I live in.

Let me be clear about something. Sonoma is a wonderful place and I am lucky to live here. 10 days ago, you couldn't have even interested me in any other place to live. It is the perfect place to raise a family, and the wine doesn't suck either. ;) But suddenly, I feel so closed in. Like life will always be exactly the way it is right now, with no opportunity for it to be any bigger, or different. Like, for the rest of my life, things will be exactly as it is. Kind of like that cliche feeling of getting married. You will spend the rest of your life with this ONE person...

So, to avoid this reality check, I have been hanging on to last weekend by the skin of my fingernails. Facebooking all my new friends, looking at all the fun photos every three hours. I've even been texting with the dentist. I'm loving that he is still flirty with me, even though he has his own life so far away! It feels good to have someone interested, even though it's never going to amount to anything. Some little glimpse of life outside our sleepy, little one horse town.

I am now, one week away from the fun of V-town. Slowly, it is beginning to hurt less. Slowly, I am remembering that my life here is not so bad. Just like the broken heart of a breakup, this too shall pass...